At this point, because of your low mood, you’ll make all sorts of meanings and come to all sort of (faulty) conclusions about what is happening. When you get home, you ask your partner to go get some milk and he starts barking at you. People around you seem very happy and carefree, which just irritates you even more! No traffic is good but the jerk in front of you doesn’t seem to know where the freaking accelerator in his car is! Even the sun is hitting you in the eyes! (LOL, this was fun to write! 😉 ) Throughout the day you keep feeling worse, getting more aggravated. You couldn’t sleep at all and you feel tired. Let’s go through the exact same scenario as above but, this time, you wake up in a terrible mood. You’re still feeling good and you understand that your partner isn’t himself right now, so his reaction doesn’t phase you. You calmly ask something of him, like the familiar “could you go get some milk please?” and he starts barking at you that he’s tired, he never gets some rest, he can’t read his newspaper in peace… (LOTS of cliches and stereotypes here, I know!)īecause you’re still in a high mood, you think “he must have had a really bad day at work” and you dismiss his harshness. One look at him and you know he’s not in a good mood. Everything seems to flow beautifully throughout the day: people are extra nice and smile to you, there’s no traffic, the sun is warm and you just feel happy.Īfter work you come home and your partner is already there.
You wake up in a lovely mood and go to work. I’ll use the female perspective here, but change it up to suit your relationship: Here are two scenarios that illustrate this. George Pransky, and it can be a game changer in relationships. But here’s where the MOOD stuff comes in. So you may say “ok, but my critical thoughts were triggered because of what he/she did”. The way you feel is ALWAYS caused by the thoughts you are thinking at the moment. You’d probably also argue that it is because the person, that you love, sometimes does stupid things, and that’s why sometimes you feel critical or disapproving towards them.īUT the way you feel is never because of what someone else does or doesn’t do. You can probably accept that you have felt this set of contradicting emotions towards the same person, on different occasions. Imagine that, in the above paragraph, we were talking about one and the same person, let’s say a romantic partner.
If, however, your thoughts are critical and disapproving, you feel critical and disapproving towards that person. The premise here is that if your thoughts towards someone are kind and loving, you feel good and you feel loving towards them. In a nutshell, I want to show you how your thoughts about someone create an emotional state that you project onto that person, irrespective of what’s really happening. Today I wanted to talk with you about the (HUGE) effect that our varying state of mental wellness, or our mood, has on our relationships. This entry was posted in Lifestyle Mind by Isabel Martins
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